The day I became a mom, the moment my son surprised me with his Down syndrome diagnosis, I went from feeling like it was the best day at Disneyland, to feeling like I had somehow been transported to an old run-down amusement park, finding nothing amusing about it. The highs and lows of this journey resembled riding one roller coaster and then another, some forcing me up and then down on their rickety old tracks, while others with their jarring twists and turns whipped me around, terrifying me into believing I would fall off. Just when one ride would end, I found myself in line for another until finally I hit the Ferris wheel where I was able to get some relief.
In truth, the relief I really wanted was at home in my bed under the covers.
I managed to adjust, but honestly, since his birth and leaving that unamusement park, life for me has been like being on a road trip with no destination, no hotel reservations, and being surprised by where we would end up each day.
Five years ago, we took a vacation using this method of madness. We took a week-long road trip down the Pacific Coast Highway, with no plans or commitments. Sounds fun right? I loved it! To be able to enjoy the views, and the sites without being rushed, stopping when and where for how long we wanted was amazing! For me, taking a vacation without a schedule was liberating. My husband, on the other hand, did not like it. He shared that he felt homeless, which made me laugh because technically with any trip you take, you are homeless. He didn’t like not knowing where we would be each night, having to search for a bed and shower, at times when it was late and dark and we were tired and hungry.
Perhaps my son’s surprise at birth has better prepared me for trips like this. I never know where life is going to take me each day and I’ve learned to find joy in the journey. And just like any vacation, some days we have made great memories, and others feel like the gods are against us, no matter how hard we try, nothing goes right.
Three years ago, life surprised me by taking me on another unplanned journey when I decided to write my memoir. I had no idea it would take a few years to complete this daunting but amazing task and that when the writing was completed and my book was published, I would begin speaking to it. Yep, I’ve stepped completely out of my comfort zone, AGAIN, and have been meeting and speaking with hundreds of people I never imagined would become a part of this journey. I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it. My favorite part is that my son is my sidekick, my partner in crime.
I love people! I’m especially drawn to people who are fun and bring out the best in me, which is why it’s weird that I would consider myself shy. I know I know, anyone who knows me is calling BS on this, but I feel like I am. At least until I know you…which in some cases may only take five minutes. However, a shy personality trait is becoming a thing of the past. With each opportunity we have to represent our story, I have felt myself growing, and becoming more confident. I’m speaking on a topic I’m passionate about to an audience I can connect with, so it’s easy.
It’s been eight months since the publication of my book and in those eight months, we’ve attended several events/book signings. At each one, I have been touched by a comment or a story that has been shared with me. I began journaling about these moments after the first few because I felt I should record them. I’m doing this so that I remember to always remain humble and appreciate those who support us. To remember my why.
Lately, I have been feeling inspired to share some of these moments. If you are reading this and any of these stories were you, I say thank you for giving me the gift of this great memory.
Are you ready? Here goes…
The first thing I’d like to share happened at our first official book signing. It’s been fifteen years since my son graduated from high school. At this signing, one of our guests shared a story with me that made my momma's heart proud. When Matt was in school, he had a peer tutor who loved him. She loved his sense of humor and the joy she felt when she was around him. Lucky for him, and I suppose her as well, she was with him for two years. I never met this young lady, but at this signing, I learned that after graduating, she decided to pursue a career in the field of special education. My son, my sweet Matthew, inspired that young lady so much so that she decided to dedicate her life to helping kids like him. She is now a teacher at the school where she tutored him.
This is the second story that’s been shared with me where my son has made this type of impact on a fellow student's life plan. I'm aware that my son has impacted many lives, but these stories demonstrate how profoundly. WOW!
Lesson Learned: We really don't know how much of an influence we have on other people. Think of someone who touched you in a way that possibly changed the direction of your destiny, taking you down a completely different path. In these moments I thank my person.
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The second moment I’d like to share was just a comment, but it affected me in a way I didn’t expect. A young woman rushing past us looked at our table and our sign and said, “Hey! I saw you and your book on Instagram” and she kept on going where she was headed. What’s that? I couldn’t believe what she had just said. We weren’t able to connect with her, but that short sentence translated as our story was reaching strangers on social media.
Lesson Learned: We are being seen.
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Best Buddies Friendship Walk- Our first official speaking gig. We were invited to share our experience with the Best Buddies program so while this was focused more on that, it was fun to be able to stand side by side with my son and his Best Buddie, speaking to a crowd of amazing families. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my son's confidence shine through, especially when he shouted out “Best Buddies Rocks” and the entire crowd cheered with him.
We met several kids who all rocked their special abilities. They, along with their parents, had fun meeting Matt, and my heart burst with every request he received to sign their book.
Lesson learned- Book signings and food don’t play well together. Chick-Café (Fil A) is Matt’s favorite, so apologies to anyone who received a chicken sandwich-stained book. I knew we were in trouble, the moment I realized they were putting their booth across from our table. Ugh!
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At one of our Barnes & Noble book signing events, I noticed two young girls, about ten or eleven, giggling and watching us from afar. Slowly, they inched their way forward, until eventually, they were standing right in front of our table. They were timid but one of them wore a smile as big as a Cheshire cat.
I wouldn’t consider my book a children’s or YA book so I didn’t think they would be interested in hearing my spill, so I started up a different conversation with them, initiating small talk.
“Do you like to read?” The girl with the Cheshire smile responded without hesitation, “No. I hate reading.” I laughed because we were in a bookstore but appreciated her honesty. I told her that was okay, not everybody did. She asked if I wrote the book that was on the table. I shared that I had and that it was about my journey with my son. I explained that I wrote it in hopes of showing people how important it is to always be kind and include people like him whenever possible. I then told Matt to tell them things he liked to do. They both smiled as Matt listed off some of his favorite activities.
“What about you? Do you like to read?” I asked the young girl who still hadn’t said anything. The shyer of the two she just stood there for a few seconds and nodded. When she finally spoke, she immediately got my attention.
“I’m writing a book,” she said, and hesitated, waiting for my reaction. I smiled and sat forward, wanting to hear more.
“Oh yeah? Do you want to share what it’s about?” She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and there was a shift in her body language, but I could tell she was happy that I had asked. Then, that young lady got me with the best elevator pitch! She put my own to shame. I felt her passion for her story, so much so that it made me get all warm and gushy inside. This young, aspiring author had a creative imagination.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Lucy” She replied.
“Lucy, I’m excited for you! Writing a book is super hard!” she nodded when I said this. “But you have something special. Promise me you’ll never give up.” She nodded again in agreement. I then told her to look around for a moment at every book on the shelves. She looked confused but did as I instructed.
“I promise you, every single author in this store, and as you can see, that’s hundreds of them, wanted to give up at some point. Being an author is hard work, but it’s worth it. Your story is a great one, and I’ll be watching for your book.” With that, her smile grew ten times bigger.
In that short conversation, I watched her confidence grow. It was then I realized she had been watching me and finally mustered the courage to step over to our table because I was an author. She wanted to meet me, to connect with another author, and share her story. I’m so glad she did!
Lucy, wherever you are, I will be watching for your book about the princess and her father the king. Remember your promise to me, you’ve got this girl!!
Lesson Learned: My mentors once shared that people think authors are cool. But what’s cooler? When those individuals start following their path and seek your advice, you know what they are about to experience and feel that joy for them.
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My son and I were strolling through another Barnes & Noble location, oodling over our book that we found on one of the shelves. We laughed as we began to take selfies. (I hope I never tire of that giddy feeling.) I noticed two women watching us, smiling. I was too excited to be embarrassed. We finished with our photo shoot and as we walked away, I saw them moving in to investigate what we were doing. I stopped because I wanted to soak in their reactions. They saw me watching them.
“Did you write this?” they asked. I smiled proudly and nodded. Before I knew it, Matt moved in on his prey and initiated a conversation with them. I knew they knew someone who had different abilities by the way they interacted with my son. It turns out, they were sisters and had a third sister who lived in Wyoming. That sister had a seven-year-old son with Down syndrome. As the younger of these two women spoke, she got teary-eyed. She spoke so lovingly of her nephew. It was clear to me that they loved this little boy deeply and enjoyed the blessing he was to their family. They left with two of our books and I left with a heart that felt like it could burst.
Lesson learned: Selfies sell.
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Matt and I were at a book signing this past weekend at another Barnes & Noble location (Yay for B&N supporting local authors!). In typical Matt fashion, he connected with a “dude” walking across the aisle from us, when he hollered out “Hey dude, nice shirt!” Matt can spot a Swiftie in no time flat, of course, it helped that this man had on the same TS shirt that Matt owns. This tall gentleman, someone you wouldn’t picture being a Swiftie, smiled and waved as he and the two children who were with him, had a destination and headed straight to the escalator. Then surprisingly, he turned his crew around and came over to Matt to give him some knuckles. That wasn’t enough for Matt, who jumped up and gave his new friend a big ole hug. They shared their favorite TS songs, talked for a few minutes, and then dude said goodbye and continued on his way.
A short time later a woman and her daughter came up to our table and asked what we were doing. In the middle of my schpill, guess who showed up? Matt’s new friend. It turns out, I had been speaking with his wife. When he first visited our table, he only saw Matt, he had no idea what we were doing. When his wife told him that we had written a book, without hesitation, he picked up a copy and said, “Of course we’re buying this!”
Then…here’s my favorite part. His son, who was about tenish said “Wait! You wrote this book?”
“Yep!” I responded proudly.
He started to shake his head and then held up his index finger. “So, you’re telling me that I’m standing here meeting my very first real-life author?”
“Well, I am an author and if this is your first time, then it seems to be!” His eyes beamed with excitement, so I raised my hand to give him a high five. He immediately jumped forward and slammed his palm into mine as he hollered out “So cool” and we laughed at our special connection.
For him, he was meeting his first author, for me, it was an honor to give him that experience.
We signed their book, and they agreed they were going to read it as a family, hoping to learn something together. But not before I gave mom & dad a heads-up that some chapters may not be appropriate for the younger ones.
Lesson learned: Enjoy every moment…even the small ones because they often end up being the most memorable.
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Lastly, for now, this one cracks me up. We had been featured in our city’s monthly newsletter. A woman, who had a grandson with Down syndrome, stopped in at a book signing to meet us. The first thing she said to me was “Wow, you’re pretty in person.” What does one say to that? Honestly, I don’t remember if I said anything. I do know I laughed.
Lesson Learned: Send in better photos for news stories.
These are just a few of the moments I have journaled about. There have been many more experiences. Tears from grandparents thanking me for sharing my story, kids who come up and want their picture taken with Matt, and men who can’t keep from laughing when they read our sign and follow up with “Yes they do!” (pee in the park). I cherish each experience and will hold a special place for them in my heart, and my journal.
I hope to one day add you, my reader, to that space…that is if you’re not already there.
P.S. Extra chromosomes and the people born with them, are super cool!!!
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